Addicted to Love

   I really pity people who are so uncomfortable with themselves that they have to be with a partner, be it a man, a woman, a farm animal, a family member...whatever. And I don't necessarily mean in a sexual way. I just mean that these people cannot be alone. Ever.

   My mother is one of these people. She has been through a whirlwind of horrible, disjointed, disfunctional relationships ever since I can remember, the one with my father included. She just can't find someone suited to her needs. Why? Because she doesn't know what her needs are. Her only conceivable need is "a man". Or at least, a person to talk to her all the time, coddle her, and listen to her problems. Her self-esteem is very low, and it will probably always be that way because she hasn't found the strength to learn to love herself.

   I was just reading the blog of someone I used to live with, and she is much the same way. She recently got married to a guy she's barely known a year, simply because he asked her. Maybe this girl and my mother need to live together? I don't know.

   I used to hate myself. But I love myself now, and I learned to love myself before I got into the relationship that I have now, which is a very happy one. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years, and I love him very much. I wasn't even looking for a relationship in the oh-so-hungry-hyena way (that my mother and the recently married crazy bitch are famous for) when I met my boyfriend. It just kind of happened by accident. But it would never have worked out if I couldn't face myself in the mirror when I was single and say, "I'm OK with me."

   Remember that. It may be the most important lesson of your life. It was for me.

Quote Me Not; Quote These Folks Instead...

"To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, and be nothing."---Aristotle


"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."---Albert Einstein


"Nature is beautiful...until something gets its guts ripped open."---my boyfriend


"2839 fucking o'clock. I hate stupid people."---my best friend


"I want a fuckin' dollar, not a dick."---my 2nd mama See