Why Church and Church Folk Should Scare You

   Just because someone claims to be a "Christian" and attends church faithfully every Sunday morning and night does not make them a good person. I figured since Halloween is fast approaching in a few days, I'd offer a few safety tips for survival. This doesn't apply just for Halloween, but for all year long. This also involves spooks and specters that you probably won't be seeing anywhere on the streets dressed in costume. Not in your atypical Samhain attire, in any case.
   These people wear business suits, polo shirts, khakis, loafers, tennis shoes, glasses, closely cropped hair, and huge, shit-eating grins. They go to church whenever possible, do charity work, are in the Freemasons, love their parents, and some are even preachers.
   These people are not really people at all, you see, but monsters. They are the ones you should fear. At night they fantasize about rape, murder, molesting children, kidnapping, robbery, assault, and all types of bloodshed that baby Jesus would simply not approve of. But in their eyes, they can do no wrong---because they call themselves "Christians".
   Watch out for these people, because they are everywhere, infiltrating your schools, your workplace, and maybe even your home.
   Wolves in sheep's clothing...that is the red flag you should be watching out for this Halloween season, and all year long.

1) Beware preachers who spend too much time with little children. They are probably pedophiles.
2) Stay away from weird Southern "snake handler" churches. These usually turn out to be cults.
3) Don't believe everything someone tells you simply because they go to church.
4) Actions speak louder than words. If someone creeps you out and does creepy things, to hell with their "Christian" label. Get as far away from them as possible.
5) Just stay away from church period. Unless you want to die. Or unless you're attending a funeral, in which case someone's already dead, so I guess it doesn't matter at that point.

Human Waste Management

   I don't mind following rules, as long as they apply to everyone. But as soon as rules are only for me, that's when I start to get pissed off and shoot my middle finger to whoever dares to enforce said "rules". That's the thought for the day.

   If you are going to speak your mind and fight injustice in your world, whether it's a high phone bill that you feel you shouldn't pay because the taxes are too damn high or food that sucks so you complain to the cashier at McDonald's, you are going to face some serious opposition. In this world, people want you to sit back and let them rape you right up the ass with a splintered two by four. Most sheep-like idiots are perfectly content with letting the world do this to them. Those of us who stand alone, who fight alone, and who roam the confines of this prison otherwise known as life---we know better.

   But no matter how much people try to bring you down, you have to fight for what you believe in. Even if you're the only person on the planet who thinks that you are correct, that's enough. Nobody else came out of the womb but you when you were born (unless you were a twin), and nobody will be buried with you in your coffin when you die (unless someone tries to rob your grave and then is caught and killed and tossed in your coffin to dispose of evidence). You have to live life for yourself.

   If the price you pay is being ostracized by everybody because you don't like being treated like shit at work or school, or you don't like how loud your neighbors blast their surround sound speakers through the wall to cover up the horrible animal-esque sounds of their copulation...so be it. Someday, you will find someone, or maybe even several someones...a group of non-conformist someones...who will accept you for who you are, listen to your problems, and fight the good fight with you.

   So fight the good fight. Never give in.